GRRRRAGGHHH HFUCKING DCGEDSKLFJ WERGFOJDS

JESUS

So Blue. You know Blue? Top-of-the-line audio equipment manufacturers? Yeah?

They've got $2000 microphones and shit. Their customer support is NON-EXISTANT. How is this possible?

My tale of woe is as follows:

A few days before Thanksgiving Break, I call Blue up with a question regarding my microphone. See, I'd noticed a strange issue with my Blue Yeti, and figured they'd have an idea of how to remedy it.

The issue was that the zero-latency feedback headphone jack wasn't working properly. When I plugged my microphone into my computer, and plugged my headphones into the headphone jack on the microphone, I couldn't hear anything. So I uninstalled the drivers, and tried again after reinstalling them. Once again, couldn't hear anything out of the jack, and the feedback was actually playing through my computer. So again, I uninstall, restart the computer, and plug it back in. The driver's install, but I still have my headphones in. Then I noticed something: When the drivers aren't installed, the microphone works perfectly, I hear the zero-latency feedback and everything. As soon as the drivers finish installing, it stops working.

So I call this number, and I press buttons to get the machien to take me to someone who would know how to fix this. I get the woman at what is the equivalent of their help desk I guess. I explain all of the above, and the fact that I'm running Windows 7 home premium on a Dell laptop.

Hurp-dee-dee, I spent like two minutes explaining everything so she could know exactly what my situation was and the only reply I get is "Yeeaahh... That shouldn't happen at all. Go onto our website and fill out a service request form. Ask for an advanced replacement." I ask more questions, because I'd rather not send my microphone in as I honestly believe there isn't anything wrong with it, but she's convinced there's some sort of hardware defect with my particular microphone.

So I thank her and I hang up and get on my computer. I fill out the entire form, but I get to the Serial Number thing. I was pretty sure I knew which of the numbers on the box to put in there, but I wanted to make sure I did this all right. So I call back. However, their business hours had ended, and I got the answering machine. The woman's voice came up, telling me basically "Welcome to Blue customer Support. I'm not in right now. If you believe there's a problem with your microphone, go onto our website and fill out a service request form and ask for an advanced replacement." The exact same information I got from speakign directly to this person, I got from their voicemail message. Fuck.

So I plug in the numbers, and the next day I get an email with a thing I need to fill out and include with my microphone when I send it back. I fill it out and mail it on the 30th of November.

Twelve fucking dollars it costs me to ship this thing to them. Whatever, I'll have my microphone back good as new soon, whatever. It gets there in two days. Bam. Excellent. I should expect it back in two days, four or five tops, right? Seven if they're having a bad week, yeah?

WRRROOOONG

It's December 8th. I go back home to Springfield TOMORROW. I need to have my microphone if I'm to make my deadlines over the break, and work on new projects and other shit. So I give them another call. I get the same chick, I guess she's the onyl one who works at that part of the company or something? My microphone still hasn't been shipped to me, and I need it to be shipped to SPRINGFIELD, not to Ashland, because I'll be gone over winter break and the school's mail station isn't open during winter break and shit. She totally understands and I tell her the new address it needs to be shipped to, she tells me she's got it all set, and it should get shipped out tomorrow.

Fucking RAD! It'll be at my house two days after I get there! Two days to chill and plan, then I can get to recording!

It isn't shipped for ten god damned days. I get the Fed Ex email so I can track it and it says it should get here about the 21st. Whatever, I'll have it before Christmas, I can do all my screaming while people are out of the house doing last-minute shopping so I'm not scaring everyone (I have to do a pretty hysterical scream for Son's of Valor, and I was looking forward to NOT having to do that in my little dorm and freak everyone the fuck out but HAHA no (also my sister needed my microphone to make a present for my mom but that's not going to happen NOW is it?). Again, I get that email on the 18th. I figure it'd get here on the 20th considering it took two days to get down to california before, so it should take the same amount of time to get here, yeah?

On the 20th it's in Central Point, Oregon. Damn. Well it'll get here on the 21st, it'll all be good, right?

21st, it's still in Central Point. Whatever, it's Christmas Season. It got delayed a day. No biggie.

The 22nd rolls around. My microphone is STILL in Central Point. What the HELL?

So I go and look at the tracking date thing. Try to figure it all out. Oh.

It's being shipped to Ashland, motherfucking Oregon. The place I told them NOT to ship it to. The school's mail system doesn't run over Winter break. so it's sitting. In Ashland. Waiting to be picked up and put somewhere where I can pick it up. See, I couldnt' go down there and pick it up now even if I had to means to do so. It's waiting to be picked up by the mail people at the school. I can't pick it up until it reaches the school.

I missed out on being able to do any christmas specials (I was actually scouted for one, but I had to disappoint because of this). My sister never got to make her present. I was unable to get voice-related work done. And now I have to deal with the loud-ass halls and try to find a time of peace to disrupt with my screaming and this whole thing has become a big dumb unfun pile of shit.

Thanks Blue. Merry Christmas. Happy new year. Blow me.

I need to go to bed.

- Matt

P.S. If the new microphone is "defective" I will destroy the world.