Good voices
You've got talent, that's for sure. Having said that, there are some issues I noticed right off the bat.
First off, if you really want to do voice acting, you're going to have to invest in a quality microphone. The scratchy sound and mass amounts of white noise distract from your voice a LOT.
Second, the music was JUST a bit too loud. You want the music to enhance the presence of your voice, not become the scene itself. I understand you may have made the music loud to drown out the hissing white noise, but I think that only distracted from the voices more.
But again, from what I've heard hear, you're good. I could see you getting a lot of voice acting gigs. But you need a good microphone, too.
Keep at it, man!